Today's topic features a particularly persistent nuisance that
is, surprisingly enough, a common household article. However, do not let its cheery yellow packaging disarm you. It is a cruel device that has actually been used in many infamous murders. There are three rolls of it sitting atop my parent's refrigerator right now. Can you guess what it is?
That's right. Saran wrap.
I absolutely, incomprehensibly, utterly and in the most
undeterred passion of my existence, HATE Saran wrap. It is a vile fiend that does not even come close to preserving food. Ha! It merely exists to stick to itself, bind my hands and produce a lovely breeding ground for bacteria because it won't stick to the bowl I am trying to cover.
Saran wrap travels under many names and guises. [Add generic
store name here] plastic wrap. Cling wrap. Despite these names, it
never changes. Packaged in an falsely optimistic color, such as yellow, it looks promising enough. Alas for appearances. Beneath a flap of cardboard lurks a strip of serrated metal which snags everything in existence BUT Saran wrap.
The moral of this post? Saran wrap is a lying charlatan that should be shunned from shelves and homes. Buy aluminum.
is, surprisingly enough, a common household article. However, do not let its cheery yellow packaging disarm you. It is a cruel device that has actually been used in many infamous murders. There are three rolls of it sitting atop my parent's refrigerator right now. Can you guess what it is?
That's right. Saran wrap.
I absolutely, incomprehensibly, utterly and in the most
undeterred passion of my existence, HATE Saran wrap. It is a vile fiend that does not even come close to preserving food. Ha! It merely exists to stick to itself, bind my hands and produce a lovely breeding ground for bacteria because it won't stick to the bowl I am trying to cover.
Saran wrap travels under many names and guises. [Add generic
store name here] plastic wrap. Cling wrap. Despite these names, it
never changes. Packaged in an falsely optimistic color, such as yellow, it looks promising enough. Alas for appearances. Beneath a flap of cardboard lurks a strip of serrated metal which snags everything in existence BUT Saran wrap.
The moral of this post? Saran wrap is a lying charlatan that should be shunned from shelves and homes. Buy aluminum.
No comments:
Post a Comment